( Dedicated to a painter)
14 April
Today was Sunday. The director asked me to go with a long drive. I am always fascinated with his driving skill, and specially with his motorbike. He has named it ”Gajraj” Both of us covered nearly fifty kilometer, I was sitting behind him, and drinking bottles of bear one after another. It was an interesting drive.
16 April
It was a late night. And all of sudden I felt strong desire to see the Red Ford of our country. For last two days I had been reading about the story of Delhi. I had only two rupees in my pocket.I went to the Railway station, but was informed the that the last train of Delhi had left the platform. But my natural instincts were provoking me to leave this city as soon as possible. When I came out of the Railway station I saw a running bus. I ran after it without knowing what I was doing. I jumped over it. And within minutes I was on the top of the bus. I was alone there, all around, there was only boxes and beddings. It was a hot night, so I opened the buttons of my shirt sat down. AT first check post at Gandhi Bridge, the driver noticed me and I was kick off the bus. Another railway station was waiting for me. I started walking. I just felt, I don’t know it was my walking dream or reality, a black snake touched my feet and went away quickly. I saw the reflection of sleeping city in the Great river Ganges. I love this city and this river. This river is deeply related with the civilization of this country. It has a lot of mythical stories, I believe in all those stories. I have never seen the Tames of England and the Volga of Russia, but I am sure the Ganges is the most beautiful city under the sky, at least to me. I came directly to the another Railway station, and here I was informed that the train to Delhi was just come. Fortunately I have my diary at my hand, and my pen is flowing constantly over it. I know one day these words will make me immortal. The train has come and I am going to catch it. Remember I have only two rupees in my pocket.
April 17
The train is running very fast, and I am looking to the red Sun that is emerging far from under the earth. I know the universal truth that the sun is stable and all the planets are moving around it. I know that for this truth Gallilio had been compel to take back his words and latter he had to spend nine years in a dark a room and became blind. But still I want to use the literary truth not the scientific one regarding the Sun. I bow down before the sun. I am hungry and have nothing to eat. I have no ticket so I am forced to leave the train after six hours. It is a day time. I want to do some manual work so that I can earn and eat something. But wherever I go, people think I am a beggar because I have lost my shirt and slippers at the top of the bus. Really I am looking like a beggar. I have left the idea to earn and come back to the Railway station of the historical city, it is a heartless city, at least to me. Again I am waiting for the Delhi train. Oh my God! Heavy rains has started, and I am feeling cold. I search my pocket and gets only two rupees. Here life is difficult to me, but I enjoy it, because I have dream to see the Red Fort. The train comes and again I enter into it.
18 April
The train stops at the Old Delhi Railway Station. It is 3 am. in the morning. I walk very slowly and come out of the platform. I have not slept for two days. I want to sleep, but there is no chance. Just outside the Railway station, some people come to me and ask if I want to have a bed. But I have no money to afford a bed so say nothing, but just walks up. Then some police men come to me and inquire. I say them nothing. Then I am arrested and sent to a nearby Police station. More than twenty people have arrested that night. I am asked to sit among them. I sit silently. An officer asks me, ”Who are you, and from where are you coming? ” I simply say, ”I am a writer, I just want to see the Red Fort, so why I come here. I want to tell you very frankly that I have no ticket.” He is surprised to listen me. Then he offers me some tea and biscuits. I take it. A lot of police men comes there and ask the arrested men to sing and dance. One of them starts singing and dancing, after a little while all of them, including some police men, starts dancing. I feel that I am the king of Delhi and my subjects are welcoming me. I enjoy it a lot, and I am sure no one under the sky has experienced such type of life, it is marvelous, it beautiful, it excellent and above all it is beyond any grammar. Oh! the page is finished, I have to uses another date.
19 April
After half and hour, the officer asks me to leave the place and he shows me the road that leads to Red Ford. I am walking. The yellow light is spread all around the road and I can see the Red Fort, although I have a long distance. Wow ! Super !! I am highly fascinated with the beauty of Red Fort, Under a lot of powers full light, all its dimensions are reflected. I feel that it is my Fort, and for a lot time it has been waiting for me. I am highly mesmerized to see it. When I come very near to it I see countless pigeons, sitting all around the Fort. I never like pigeon, I like only eagle and falcon. Someone calls me and I turn to the voice. I see an army man, coming towards me. ”You are going for toilet here. Go away. It is not the place for such work,” he says loudly and I loose my control. ”I have come here only to see the Red Fort and you are saying me such words, Have you gone mad? ” Then and there he realizes that he has pronounced something wrong. Very soon he becomes my friend and asks me to stay with him. But I am not in mood to stay here so I go ahead. But he says ”If you do not get any proper place at night, must come here.” When I come to a road, a little girl gives me a red rose without any words, and again I feel that I am the king of Delhi and my subjects are offering different thing in different ways. At a traffic post I get two slippers, and starts walking on. Rain has started again, but I do not want shelter. I just enjoy it as I think nature is very happy with me and it is leading me. I move slowly and see both sides on the road. Under the shops shutter countless people are sleeping, among them I can see dogs and goats. The life is hell here! Somewhere I feel a inner pain, how can we say that we as nation we are independent and civilized? Who is responsible for this life? Thinking such types of questions I go ahead. I feel the smell of blood of those innocent people who had been killed by Tamur Lang and his army. Again I have to use the next page, I mean next date.
20 April
The bus service has stated in the city and I have walked a lot. Now I am tired. I want some rest. I see a college in front of me, and I feel a strong desire to deliver my lecture here. I enter into the college. Students are moving here and there. I enter into a class room, full of students, and offer for my lecture. But the students think that I want some help. They start collecting money for me, but I refuse to accept it and tell them that I only want to deliver my lecture if you are interested. Meanwhile, a professor comes and asks me to leave the class, because it is his class. I leave the class and go to meet the principal. To him I request for a class but I am not allowed. I leave the place. All of sudden I remember one of my friends who is working in a daily mid-day newspaper. I start searching the office of the newspaper. After two hours, I enter into his office. He is surprised to see me and my condition. On the pone he talks about me to his lady-boss who asks him to take me there. With him I enter into her big house in posh locality. When she sees me she asks me to go to her little temple, made in her beautiful house. I say her that I do not want to see the God and she says quickly, ”But the God wants to see you.” I go to the temple and see the Lord Ganesha. I sit there and feel the existence of God. She gives me a good shirt and five hundred rupees and asks me to do a work for her. She wants to cover the life of a prominent painter of my city for her production house. She asks me to do some research works regarding the painter. I accept her proposal, as I have no alternative. At night I stay with my friend. In her room, a meet his room met who is a young photographer. He drinks before me but does not offer. I feel a strong desire for drinking. Next morning, I catch the first train to my city. Of course before catching it, I buy a bottle of Vodaka. During the returning I drink furiously.
22 April
Oh! Again I am in my Omen, my lovely Omen! It seems like my mother to me. I can sing here and sleep here. I am tired badly, so I am going to sleep. I have still some Vodaka, Let me drink three pegs…or more.
…..continue
Note : I am constantly struggle hard to read out more and more pages of the diary. Wait for more.
