A Story by Alok Nandan
Milton just comes back from India. For last four years he has been doing a research project related with Indian philosophy, and has spent three months in Indian. During the research he comes in contact with interesting Indian faiths and rituals, and has been continuously thinking of them. He is highly fascinated with word Tantrik.
He opens his computer and connects himself to the world through net. He sees more than five hundred mails in his mail box. One by one he sees them. He opens some of them. One of them is from his director from the research centre.
He reads it :
Dear Milton, I hope you are fine. The research centre is waiting for your papers. You have taken too much time. It’s enough now .Please submit the papers as soon as possible. The publisher is waiting for them. Your second research project has been approved. You have to work a lot, Take care.
Director, Research centre
Milton does not understand what to do. He has collected a lot of materials but has not arranged them in a proper way. They are not ready for publishing. On the screen, chatting box emerges. Jenny is trying to catch him. She knows Milton is working over Indian philosophy.
”How is my brilliant friend, today? I hope he has come back with a lot of Indian wisdom. Are you free to chat with me? I will be grateful for it, my handsome man!”
He sees her message and automatically all his ten fingers runs over the key board, creating a good music.
“I am glad to see you today. I have collected a lot of material from India. It is too difficult to arrange them. I do not know from where to start. I have to arrange and write them as soon as possible,” he answers.
”What you like most in all the collections? I know India is a mysterious country. It is too difficult to find out.”
He sees her message and again his fingers run fast on the key board as if it is a piano.
”Tantrik? Tell me about Tantrik today!!!”
”Tantrik!! Well ! Do you know about Mantra and Tantra?
”No,assume I know nothing.”
“Ok, Mantra and Tantra are the medium to get the ultimate reality and happiness and completeness.”
”I love it already.”
”Mantra are the poetical words and Tantra are the rituals. It is believed that a man or a woman body is the sources of energy.”
” Oh let me think about that. What do you mean by poetical words? I love idea…poetry in motion.”
” A human body has seven charkas in upper body. Mantras (poetry) are recited during the Tantaras (rituals) And with it your chakras are activated one by one, from bottom to top.”
” Oh la la.. I’d like to see something like that”
”In India all gods and goddess are worshiped through these Tantra and Mantra. Tantrik is one who practices
these things very systematically.”
”The ritual component, right?”
“Yes, most interesting parts are sexual rituals.”
”It is believed that each man is a god and each woman is Goddess. Both of them worship each-other.”
”The god in me recognizes the god in you. (?)”
” I do not know but they use milk, flowers, sweets and wine
for this purpose.”
” Wow…how beautiful.”
”And then they feel each-other with all the organs.
First they watch each-other parts very keenly. It has seven days practice.”
” Seven days!”
”The rituals take seven days, seven days practice. First day they only talk and watch each-other in a very comfortable environment. The second day they touch each-other through there hands, having their eyes closed. Are you listening me?”
”Oh..yes…i’m imagining it.”
”Both of them sit together, maintaining certain positions, with close eyes they touch each-other.”
”You would have to trust and enjoy your companion…wouldn’t you?”
” The object of these rituals is to activate all the seven chakra in the body. Yes, trust is most important ”
”I couldn’t do this with my boy friend. But I like thinking of you.”
” Why not? You are most well-come.”
”I couldn’t…he wouldn’t enjoy it. He would think it was ridiculous. Or he’d do it to please me and try to hard…while not enjoying it.”
”But never forget sex is not its goal. Its object is to activate your charkas.”
”That is awesome…the places you take me Milton. If sex were not the goal then my boy friend would be bored.”
” Then it will hard to you practice with him”
” What are the seven chakras?”
”It is believed that a human body has seven charkas. And activating these charkas, one can get the ultimate reality. I do not know what is that ultimate reality. Sex is just a medium, not the goal.”
”That is wonderful too.”
” You imagine with me, can you?”
” I already am. I’m stuck on the talking part…I’d want to kiss you, but that wouldn’t work right.”
” Yes, no kiss, darling!.”
”So talking and no kissing…that’s tough.”
” Only touch me through your hands, having your eyes closed.”
”Yes, It is a rule.”
”Do you do this?”
” No,I do not get such a woman.”
”It is very rare practice and need patient. ”
”I love the idea of you and I am trying it.
” Woman looses her control very soon.”
” Then it would be a challenge, and I love a challenge.”
”Yes, it is a challenge.”
”What happens next?”
”You have to touch me, all my parts gently, and I have to touch all your parts gently.”
”I like that too.”
”You just feel the excitement of all your parts with calm mind.”
” No mind excitement.”
”Okay okay…calm. Very good.”
”Mind will read the body’s excitement. When you feel urgency to copulate or I feel urgency to copulate, we will tell each-other.”
” Can you linger a long time with the touching? ”
”And then we will apart.”
” Oh that is wonderful.”
”We can have a good bathe separately and wear good dress, and then eat and talk about these feelings.”
”Oh now I’ m sad. I would love to experience this.”
” What you like most and what I like most ?”
”Please keep going…my imagination is feeling so much energy.”
”We will do it one day. Do not worry, although I have never done it, just know about it.”
”Then I’ll keep that in my thoughts and it will feel inevitable. I think I would enjoy talking with you like that, very much. I wouldn’t be afraid.”
”It is good. Never forget that I am getting myself through you and you are getting yourself through me. Then we will talk about everything.”
”Yes, I feel that already happening. So tell me what happens next?”
”We will spend that night with talking only. If we feel better, we will repeat these rituals again and again.”
”Yes, that would be a pleasure.”
” Mantra is very important in these rituals. Each chakra has special word and color, like the colors of a rainbow.”
”I think I would cry.”
”I don’t know.”
“I just would…like a happy sadness…”
”Let me know Why? You just try to tell me about happy sadness.”
”Perhaps to be loved like that would release something.”
”I do not understand it.”
”Oh! I do not want to make you unhappy.”
”No…in a good way.”
” should I stop ?”
”No keep going.”
”I love it.”
” I too”
”Perhaps a new freedom, I don’t know. It is an amazing concept.”
”So what is the next day?”
”We can use the all seven colors in our loving place in a very systematic way. Each color is related with each charka. We will come closer getting each-other. One will lead another. He or she will ask another how should be one loved, and what part of the body should be dealt in what way.”
”I’d love to ask you those questions.”
” It is important.”
” It is ? ”
”For the sake of success.”
”That is a funny question. It requires self knowledge.”
”So three days have been spent on talking only. You are learning the whole rituals within some minutes.”
”That is difficult too…so after three days of talking…what is next? I must be a quick learner.”
”Again when we want to copulate, We will tell each-other and both will apart again.”
”Oh…so much energy being built up.”
”And talk and talk only.”
”Like a flood about to happen.”
”Yes, and these energy will activate our charkas, the seven chakrs of the our body.”
”Well, I’m thinking of penetration now so I suppose I’d have to leave…but go on.”
”The next day I will ask you how to love me and you have to follow me without question. When I will feel to penetrate you, you will have to stop me and we will apart again.”
” Oh wow…it is magnificent.”
”Both of us control each-other and utilize each-other energy for some great work. This process will go on. The last day, when our all chakras will be activated, we will have complete love and penetration and we will unite completely for ever.”
”Oh Milton…I want to think about and enjoy each thought.”
”You will not be a woman and I will not be a man, we will just be the combination of two energies.”
”Yes, Do you like it?
”Wow…thank you. I love it. I will love it with you some day.”
”Yes, I too”
”It is just a concept.”
”I want to enjoy this energy while I do my editing work. ” Jena types.
” Do you think it will work?”
”Yes I do.”
”Can we do it perfectly?”
”If you can I would follow.”
”I am sure you will loose you control first day”
”Yes…I’m sure I would!!! But I guess we’d just have to practice. And keep starting over until we got it right.
” And there will be accident !! Ha ! Ha!! But we will do it”
”ha ! ha !! ha !!! I suppose it is an art that requires training and repetition.
”Together. Yes, you are right.”
”We will. So can I kiss you now…all of this talking…is making me want to kiss you. he he he.
”It may be we will fuck the concept, fucking each other! ha ha.”
” Perhaps, I’ll just take a bath. ha ha ha ha haa… that would be fun too…but the whole ritual sounds beautiful. So we will have to succeed eventually.”
”Go, and come with a beautiful dress and I feel I am talking to you whole day. If it works, it means we can do it together”
” That is perfect. I’ll be back in a few hours to look at your research papers and will think of you. Right now I’ve got energy to spend on my work. Many kisses on your tummy.
” same to you, bye”
” Have a good bath first.”
Both of them cut apart.
Milton starts arranging all the material on the computer, making a special file. He continuously works three hours. When he is just near to finish his work, Jenny’ chat box appears on the screen. He turns to it madly. He sees her words.
”How is my brilliant friend?” And the chat starts again with full speed.
”Always waiting for you, honey.”
” I’m thinking about our tantrik and mantra discussion. The images are still not clear.”
” Oh yes.”
”But I’m thinking about them all of the time.”
”Breathing! I did not mention it earlier.”
”I’m also thinking about death…so we’ll see what the two make…love and death.
”Oh, so sad.”
”let’s talk about love. What about the breathing?”
Milton takes a heave breathe and writes again :”During the seven days process music in breathing is maintained between you and me. You will give your breath to me and I will give my breath to you in a musical way.”
”Oh my god!!! What a beauty. I want to visit india…How is it done…in a musical way?”
”You will sit in front of me and I will take your mouth before my mouth and we have eyes contacts regularly.”
”But no kissing…so difficult! ”
”After a little practice, we can do it easily, no kissing, only exchange of breath. If you want, You can kiss me.”
”Milton…I’ll practice breathing with you today. I’m already seeing it. I think I might not get it right today.
”Yes, give me you breath.”
”I think if we started with the breathing I might just steal a kiss.”
” But first sit properly.”
”How is that?”
”Have your hip on your folded legs. I will do the same so that we will have each-other breath easily.”
”Already in that position…I sit like that at the computer.”
”Good, now first you take a long breathe and give it me. I mean in my mouth.”
” What if I’m thinking of penetration again…you’ll have to help me…deep breath..”
”Yes, you have to wait.”
”Haa!!! such a strict master.”
”First make your body full of energy and then I will give you my breath.”
” Oh I can feel that.”
” We have to maintain this musical movement, through this movement our heart will be connected scientifically. ”
”That is wonderful. I will practice making my body full of energy and giving it you far far away. Did you know that when human heart tissue is put together in dish the pulses become the same?
”Oh ! A new secret!!”
” Under a microscope they can watch the two cells join in rhythm.”
” Your are a genius!! Now you are my master!”
” Perhaps this breathing exercise….is based in truth.
” Lead me. Now I am dead sure it has some deep meaning and has very scientific base.”
” Did you also know that when they put the rhythm of the heart to music it is not a steady beat but sounds more like an orchestra. But an unhealthy heart is more like a steady drum.”
”Oh! God tell me more!! Many kisses. My heart is very much healthy.”
” So I guess in an artistic way two hearts could fuse to share the same rhythm and if they are healthy heart it will be a symphony and not the beat of a slow march. I think it is more healthy now! ”
” When you talked to me earlier my eyes were filling with tears because you stirred something in me that was from my childhood.”
”What? Tell me.”
”Some kind of repression associated with sex. I don’t know for sure.”
” We are combine energy.”
”Because our discussion about love and connection and I produced fear and control. But I would have cried in your arms if you had been here with me.”
” I love your innocent tears.”
” You are too much sensitive. You need more care, more and more care.”
”I am much too sensitive…too much like a little girl!”
”Yes I feel so.”
” Well, I love the breathing….”
” You are a little girl sometime.”
” I am….I am…”
”Yes you are!!!”
” Sorry!!! ha haha haha. ”
”And I love that little girl.”
” I don’t want to be a little girl. I want to be the woman who is free.”
”Now You are a perfect woman.”
”I think I am most of the time. No…ha hah not a perfect. Milton …I love you…thank you. ”
” Yes, darling you are a little girl at least to me.”
” I need to go now. I’m meeting someone in 10 minutes.”
”Ok, a gentle kiss.”
”No kisses today…only deep breathing! Non non no no… My energy is filling you today…”
” Will we meet again today?”
Before answer, her chat box shows she is off line.
xxx Jenny is off line, your message will be sent latter.
Milton looks at it and have a deep breath. And again starts over his work.
After two hours Milton and Jenny are together. Jenny is giving her breath to Milton and he is feeling the romance of a new experience, at the same time he wants to eat her like a wild lion. Jenny sees the wildness in his big eyes and laughs,
”The lesson Milton!!! hahahahaha.”
‘Let me eat you,” he says, gazing her.
She gaze him in the same ways and says” ohhhhhhhhh….You are sexy…are you testing the breathing exercise…?
”First perfect breathing, then next step”
” Ok ! Sorry !! haha.”
” Oh Milton…cruelty…you took my breath away…
”Just go and check yourself. You must know how to control, silly !.”
”Ohhh…..ha ha ahah a…You are very strict. Okay okay… only breathing.
” Thanks, I’ve been breathing deeply…which is causing me to cough all of the time!!! Ha haha hahahah. ”
”Just stop breathing and let me have your tongue in my mouth like the cherry of a cake…We are not made for rules, are we? You are in my breath….Oh tantrik practics is difficult…”
”But this tantrik idea is a lovely idea. It is almost like a marriage ritual. But yes..”I too want to eat you”, I’d put you under my hip and the cherry off the cake kind of took my breath away and I just wants to think about sex for a while. Ha ha ahaa I wonder if we could last SEVEN days together !!!